2007-08 Season

Performer
Rosencrantz & Guildenstern are Dead

Scenic Designer
Eleemosynary

Matt Lunsford

Matt Lunsford refused to turn in a bio for this production, so we are forced to speculate. He was probably abused as a child, by a neighbor or something, at the age of 8 in the Wendy House at the back of his yard, one stormy Saturday night while his parents were out to dinner. We think this had a positive effect on Matthew, as he never stopped acting since. He works in a joke shop, we know that much. He performs at children’s birthday parties as a clown sometimes, but not the laughing kind, the crying kind. He is never invited, but shows up anyway. His family would not return our calls, but his manager at the joke shop told us he is a polite, quiet man. Almost too quiet. He finds it disturbingly funny when people fall over and hurt themselves. He turned up to auditions in a borrowed football jersey and no pants, and a policewoman’s hat. We cast him without reading him for the part, and have regretted it ever since. He eats boiled peanuts backstage and spits the soggy shells at his co-actors. We fired him some time ago, but he has immense physical strength and will not leave. He shouts "My dad’s the Mayor!" regularly, but we have found this to be untrue. Please do not look him directly in the eye. HELP US!